The scientific definition of attachment is the drive or relationship characterized by the pursuit and preservation of proximity. Our babies are meant to search for us, they are designed to search out connections with those who care for them.
One of the many topics I found fascinating yet simple is that babies attach through the senses. They need to be able to see, touch, smell, hear or feel a parent. For the first year of life these senses are the ONLY way our children can attach.
However, even us 'big kids' can feel the value of connecting through the senses. We connect in this world through our senses probably a million times a day. The smell of the leaves on specific trees as you walk through a trail or a park. The scent the Aspen leaves give in the spring is incredible. It creates inside of you a familiar 'home' and reminiscent feel. The smell of mom's house when she's had sauce or stew cooking on the oven for an hour+. The sight of the fall leaves changing color. The sight of watching your pup sleep.
With the senses and attachment in mind: think of this topic when you contemplate an ideal routine and environment for your child to sleep. Starting this early on is excellent but its never too late especially if you are trying to invest more in your attachment relationship and to introduce more bedtime associations (layering associations into bedtime and nap-time is a great thing!). When you layer in multiple bedtime associations this helps ease the pressure of you being their only singular association. This can make it easier on you when you are ready to transition your physical presence away from bedtime with babe. It also makes it easier for another caretaker to take care of bed time following the same associations you have layered in.
One example sleep association that we found so helpful is a lovey, or a worn shirt that smells like mom, or body pillow with moms worn shirt on it - snugged up against baby while she sleeps. Place the lovey between you and babe while nursing which adds that scent and comfort association. Then include that lovey at bedtime. Be mindful of baby sleep safety; loose items or pillows are a suffocation hazard the first year so make sure they are supervised during that time if you are using these items.
Another great scent and touch association to add to your routine is a baby safe and naturally scented lotion or massage oil at nap-time or bedtime. I started to use Earthly's Good Night Magnesium Lotion in the Blue Bliss scent a couple months ago for me and my two year old (its never too late!). This product has a very light scent of lavender, sandalwood and blue tansy. Affiliate Link here. I do not like strong scents. This is just right for me. E loves this. She says "otion?" without the "l", lays on her back on the bed, puts her little feet up in the air. I let her hold onto the lid with a smidge of lotion on it so she can use her finger and apply herself to her arms, feet, while I rub a liberal amount on my feet then hers. Since pregnancy I have terrible restless feet at night - this magnesium lotion is SO effective. In addition, the power of massage is a whole other topic too! Skin is the body's largest organ. Skin to skin touch releases oxytocin which has health benefits for both parent and baby. Adding this scented routine to our bedtime sends a familiar signal to both of us that it's time to wind down.
If you have any questions about sleep associations, the senses, routine, please reach out for a free 15 minute discovery call.
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